new year...

the new year is about to commence in god knows how many more hours, and it feels no different than yesterday, and would probably feel no different than tomorrow. the whole bulloo about a fresh start and new beginning is just an outright lie to oneself. no point kidding oneself, that is just way too much effort spent on a fabrication of a lovely tale that just ain't.

the end of this year is spent no different than the last, working. many think it insane, my parents do not quite approve, though for reasons rather different from the others who are making merry. well, that makes me me, after all, who ever said that was sane to begin with???

as the hours ticker down, wonder what it would be working this last moments of the year at yet another place, and only heading back to my crypt at the first sunrise of the new year. way to go. happy new year, my foot.

treasure hunt...

remembered coming across and reading a really interesting article in the papers on how a girl left little notes with scrawled love and doodled affection all over the house. hidden in all the most unlikely of hooks and crannies, the game of treasure hunt was one of the few things that have kept her parents going. the little girl had carried out her operation of "hide and seek" in secret, in the midst of her painful suffering, well knowing that her days were numbered, yet also knowing that she had to leave something behind.

her going was no doubt a lamentable tragedy to have to stomach, no parents ever want for their child to have an early departure. then again, death is never an easy pill to swallow, though chew, digest and crap it out, or chew and spit it out one still has to. at the end of the day, it does not really matter which way, especially when the end point is, supposedly, somewhat the same.

it was written in that article that her parents are still playing that game of treasure hunt till this day, always hoping to find buried treasure in a new little note hidden behind somewhere, in between something. each time, a new revelation is found in the middle of all the bittersweet memories and heartjerking tears. what this little girl did, is beyond admiration, and what she left behind, brilliantly priceless, though the best part, really, is the fact that she was only five.

just ain't quite the same...

christmas time, mistletoe and wine. not. far from it.

the tree was painstakingly put up and carefully decorated with slow but loving hands because that was a missing piece of the christmas picture last year. the colors and background that you missed out on and would never be a part of, ever again. guilt and pain hung about in the air like the christmas stocking on my door.

there was no way christmas cheer could perk up the solemn atmosphere and make everything go away, even if for a little, seeing how season greetings were painfully forced out while the present exchange turned into such a sad muted affair. it was quieter, heavier, and somehow, it was just, that element of missing something, though in all honesty, think it was more missing someone than something. christmas just ain't quite the same without you.

the morning after...

watching the sunrise quietly on the stairs outside as the deejay spins the decks in the background can be quite an experience. yes, was at one mega huge beach party, but not as part of the partying crowd, but as one of them worker bees to serve the crazy mad alcoholics. the words "bone tired" cannot even faintly describe what the night was like.

in all seriousness, all hell breaking loose is a stinking understatement. the night, was just yet another reminder, as to why am a big fan of staying away from places like these, and how me really rather choose death by a guillotine than to evolve into such a creature, no, gargoyle, of the night. one shalt not insult the good name of a creature.

walked into the party entrance in the evening, and pretty much crawled out that same entrance the very next morning, a good backbreaking voice shattering twelve hours later. amazingly slipped through the whole thing intact, with plenty of free mindboggling but awfully hilarious entertainment to keep me sane. the world was seen, yet again, through a different set of eyes, from innumerous deviant angles, so yes, good morning sunshine.

pack and go...

how do you fit your life into nine boxes and some???

how do you pack and go???

this time... last year... it was so...

well... simply... one box at a time... just be careful not to break your back while at it...

for every hello... evidently... there is a goodbye...

brilliant talent...

there is a knowing that brilliant talent is all around, waiting to be discovered, if only to be uncovered. boundaries are set by one, and therefore, through logical deduction, that would technically mean the boundaries can be pushed, and readjusted to fit one's needs and wants. and if all else fails, guess it falls back on the "fail safe" option of "just settle for...".

at the very end of it, it really matters not, not one teeny weeny bit. it is found, that perhaps, one is really no more special, and is pretty much just as mediocre as the rest of the fish in the sea. oh merry merry me, oh so sad, but oh so true.

that said, there is no harm appreciating the beauty in the brilliant talent found in others that one so lacks in all entity. so where have failed to express in any capacity, here is a little piece that spoke volumes to and for me, all about you who has recently left all of us for a better place we know where you know no sorrow or pain. in my words, in my world, in that very way me know how.

to be dead...

if my feet could cry, they would be bawling right about now. that is how it is when it comes to prolonged hours standing in boots, even with the given breaks in between. and whoever does dare say different that such standing is an "easy job", will be stabbed in the eye with those very heels, with a little poke, no, make that a rough shove up where the sun does not shine.

the best bit, is that there is another two more days of twelve gruelling hours of cramped torture. if my feet could have a facial expression put to them, they would probably have that look of excruciation when in constipation from the brutality they have been put through. then again, perhaps, and just perhaps, my feet were just made to cry, or worse, die, god forbid.

bear with me my dear crying to be dead feet, the worst has yet to come. when it is all over, those tears will be dried, and nightmarish fears of broken toes will stay aside. until then, the foot tub, thick socks, bandaids, foot padding and foot rubs are on call, for you to beckon at will, so please do me a big favor, and not die on me just yet.

whee...

with the coming of this day, daddy reaches yet another milestone in his life. it is a little hard to fully comprehend how daddy is officially now in his golden years and can be considered eligible for that claim to an elderly status, but guess that is how time just slips on by. yet again, it feels just like any other day of the year.

that aside, this special benchmark was earmarked with a rather peculiar, and definitely smashing, prezzie from mommy. so yes, daddy is now a proud owner of a brand new nintendo wii system, big thanks to a mommy who attempts to be hip and hop with the latest trend these days. well, the expression of the year was nothing short of classic, not to mention daddy's words on receiving his prezzie, "wow, you bought a wonderful birthday present for me, for yourself, thank you", brilliant.

in view of how this distressing year has been one of destitution and woe, guess it can be said that there is much to be thankful for in this little blessing that daddy has lived to see another year after all the previous mishaps. for now, the wii has been successfully set up and planted in the living room, with four wee little mee characters created for what is hoped to be more family fun and many more years to come. so in all seriousness, definitely got to say, whee...!?!

door...

it is often said, that when life throws you lemons, make lemonade with it. honestly, that could not be any harder to do, especially with the searing sting lemons can bring. what of opportunity then???

can opportunity be considered a lemon??? if anything, it is as much a curveball as any other kick ass problem, just a more preferable and supposedly desired one me suppose. should one make the best out of that, or wait for the next, supposedly and assumedly, better one to come along???

a door is a door. a door either to heaven or hell. or maybe, even a door to nothing at all.