deaf ears...

good advice often falls on deaf ears...

neverending waves of regret after the years...

all because of one's fears...

memories past that will come to be...

shutting out all that it could be...

a diamond in the rough...

too many a time when one feels the encrouching trap of a dilemma, it can only leave one with a barrage of questions to answer and an avalaunche of loss that fossilizes one's being. in all honesty, how does, or rather, the question ought to be, how should one go on??? there just is no methodology that could give a canonical riposte to that equivocal enigma.

as one ponders and relives the lessons of the past, there is, somewhat, an automated triggering of the logical thought process, much to one's dismay. more often than not, there can be no legitimate rationale, what more with the absence of clarity in the emotional thought process. the nightmare of it all, is that there is no justification to how why one cannot be distinguished with the other despite the fact that they are, or seemingly so, discrete trains of cerebration.

through it all, there is much to be said, yet all the words in the world seem to fail the true concept. perhaps, and just perhaps, it will eventually lead to discovering that it is all, but an evolution, in presdestination to forge a diamond in the rough. if not, all it was cast for, could only be a treacherous end, that of a diamond in destruct.

dangerous...

"you're dangerous cause you're honest... you're dangerous cause you don't know what you want..."

a walking... ticking... time bomb...

an imperative explosion...

undone...

a precarious thought...

a haunting nightmare...

leaves one undone...

cuppa dreams...

no knowing absolute...

perhaps... and just perhaps... no true end...

mayhap... it is a small crime... somewhat...

thinking the way me do...

sharing cuppa dreams...

the hot seat...

it is an absolute annoyance to be down with the flu bug. however, there is little to be done once the flu bug infiltrates the household. when it does, the only predictable outcome after would be to see everyone going down just like flies getting a fat hard swat and going splat against the wall.

nevertheless, that does not quite stop life from going on. on the contrary, took up a pretty cool assignment at this bike festival that was supposed to showcase a whole collection of bikes. the best part, was being able to plonk my fat ass on the seats without having to worry that someone will point an accusing finger at me for running off with their precious. from really hot ducatis, to the super cool scrambler, to the charming classic harley davidson, yes, it was a sweet experience being in the hot seat.

the highlight of the day??? getting the opportunity to go up on the stunt bike for the wheelie and stoppie, despite looking like complete crap due to the germs bugging my system. pity the other girls were too afraid to go up. one of the girls who had to do the second round went as white as a sheet and had hands so clammy we thought she was about to pass out when she got off the bike.

all in a day's work??? quite, considering one gets paid for it. not too bad when one takes into account that it is an experience of a lifetime, especially if the riders do not take any tom, dick or harry up on their bikes.

makes me want to get that bike license and my own ride. goddamnit.

misunderstood...

when good intentions go awry…

one can only bend in woeful sighs…

tears in stinging silent fall…

alone one stands against the wicked winds…

ghastly nightmares of old arise…

the crumble of defences tall…

the quiescent words… taciturn… stall…

plainly put all in all…

just awfully and painfully misunderstood…

happy birthday...

to my mommy who would probably never read this:

for all the times you have been an absolute grouch, you have also been around for me in the times where it hurt so much that thought it was impossible to hurt any more.

for all the times you potter around and meddle in my personal life, do know that it is out of concern that you do the things you do and sound the way you do, much as it sounds awfully stupid to say that nagging is part of the way you show you care.

for all the times you do all those little things that can be so assed annoying, and pick on me for the very same damn thing, there are also the little things that you do that makes me look back at how sweet you can be when you are not being a frumpy grump.

happy birthday mommy dear. thank you for everything; grouching inclusive. after all, am your little grouch, even if you bought me a laughing cookie monster and singing ernie. and though you absolutely hate my entire soft toy collection for collecting dust and mites and them nasties that send my lungs into a coughing frenzy, can oscar the grouch be next on the list? pretty please?

unexpected surprises...

for all the bad eggs in the lot...

there is that hidden rare good one...

such are new close girlfriends for keeps...

unexpected surprises...

meticulously wrapped up in a pretty little packages...