birthday wish...

it was not possible for me to be the first to wish you on this special day for it was predicted that there would be countless numbers all fighting to be the first to get that auspicious first wish to you. therefore, there was no point in being the first; despite the fact that the irony of it all, was that was the first person beside when the clock struck that damning twelve that would mark the start of an older age year for you.

it was not possible for me to give a birthday that had hoped to give, no thanks to plans that went awry from too many wanting to be able to spend your special day with you, and of course, no thanks to no ending changes that somehow switch the original courses that were set out.

it was not possible for me to give that gift that is, very much unfortunately, beyond my means to.

it was not possible for me to give a perfect birthday, though in my mind's eye, it really could have been a reality. if only.

it was not possible to be there in front, for it was just so, and had to be as such.

as it all went on whilst me hid in my small decrepit corner, it did not take much to see, this was what was possible... and became plausible.

it was not possible for me to be the first to wish you on your special day, but... it was possible for me to be the last person to wish you before the magic of your special day was over.

it was not possible to give a birthday that had hoped to give, but... it was possible for me to accommodate so that the changes became such that the end result, was somewhat, if only somewhat, similar to what was hoped for. after all, if it did not happen this time around, there is always the next birthday to try my antics, even if nonsensical, right???

it was not possible for me to give a gift beyond my means, but... it was possible for me to give a substitute that was within my means, though somewhat with much adjustment on my part.

it was not possible for me to give a perfect birthday, for there was, is, and will never be anything such as perfect, but... it was possible for me to give an unforgettable one, or so me hoped...???

it was not possible for me to be in front, but... it was possible for me to be behind, in the background, in silence.

if it were to be all relived once more, the only thing me wish, was that me could do more... so that in this world of imperfection we live in, there was this one moment where perfect was attained.

in retrospect, up till now and until then, one can only try again...

next year.

with everything that has been said and done...

with birthday wishes come and gone...

little is left for me to do...

yet much is said from me to you...