Monday, 27 April 2009

heartbreak hotel...

it is awfully bizarre how life can be, so much so one wonders if one is watching a telly soap unfolding with all the going ons simultaneously, and at such a chain reaction that the peculiarity ain't even funny. if anything, the latest soap that is playing on the concurrent life telly programme has got to be titled "heartbreak hotel". the saying of "misery loves company" definitely has a certain ring and truth to it, just more than one would like me afraid.

or perhaps, it is just one of those things that just happens all at a go??? after all, it never rains, it pours. god knows why.

a girlfriend decided to let go of that someone whom she has stood by for five years, all because there was never really a defined and clear status as to where she stood, by, and quite literally, cutting the person by the convenient reason her line contract was about up, and so she might as well upgrade her plan and cellphone, and her number while at it. one helluva way to do it.

another girlfriend lost her other half of three odd years just when she made that final decision to go all the way out for her boy just like he did for her before at the earlier part of their relationship. that worst part for her, was losing her childhood best friend of over a decade, or rather, of over half her life when he just called it quits after giving her a real shitty period. the yucky part about this one, is that me know both parties. hearing what she had to tell about the boyfriend's behaviour was a real shocker, not just to me, but to all the girlfriends who knew them both. the changeabout was certainly too sudden, and a hundred and eighty degree change overnight at that. what went wrong, no one knew, knows, or will ever know me reckon. losing a boyfriend is one thing, but losing one who was one's best friend from young, whom one thought one knew, is one fucked up double whammy to be receiving at the same time.

another boyfriend just got dumped too, and in the worst possible way. the lucky girl had it all, and she just threw it all away. boyfriend is in pretty bad shape given the extent of feelings that somehow had an extraordinary exponential growth in the two odd coming or three months they were together. looking at it in objectivity, or rather, trying to, the factor of "quantity" in time certainly ain't at all necessary when it comes to the "fall in love" bit going by his circumstances.

another boyfriend might have gotten into trouble with his other half because of me, not wittingly of course, but nonetheless a fault of mine me guess, for being someone too close by half whom his other half just does not like. then again, that really ain't anything new considering it has happened with quite a number of boyfriends. how would one know??? quite simply when the boyfriend just stops being in touch and then says hi out of the blue, like god knows how many years down the road, when it is all over between the two and one hears the outpour of the whole story then, and at most times, along with the pain and heartache with the break. same with another girlfriend, who now has a girlfriend who has been seeing someone for quite a few years now. girlfriends just hate me, and for no reason at that, period. in any case, ain't quite so sure of what the situation is like at present, but am rather worried, that much is for sure, and pretty much waiting in standby for that emergency call, should it happen. am only hoping to god it ain't quite so at this point.

every individual in their cauldron of hurt, brewing, boiling, and stewing in it, life simply could not be more painful, not to mention that lousy no good feeling of screwed up that goes hand in hand with it. in all honesty, watching it all from the sideline does not make me feel any better, much as do wish that am able to do a little more for them. what is one to do???

in all seriousness, words just fail me, for they just ain't enough. one cannot just order heartache to go away, or father time to turn back the clock, let alone heartbreak to not happen. such undoing is beyond me.

all that can be done, is offering and lending the small shoulders, listening ears and a teeshirt that will serve as the towel or toilet roll of the day to dry up those tears on top of long solid holding hugs, but fat lot of good that does. what can one do when one hears those hearts crack and break, into pieces that can never really be mended??? very unfortunately, there is no miracle pill available in this time and century to make it all go away or induce amnesia, or selective amnesia at the very least. there is no surefire formula that could ever give the needed relief and comfort, that much is for sure. there is, and can be, no release from the pain.

for some reason, am reminded of a little of "hotel california", for once one checks in, one can never check out, ever. such hotels are of utmost evil, for it leaves one as such where one is never quite living, yet never quite dead. the worst part, is not knowing how one falls into these human fly traps.

the saying "what does not kill you, makes you stronger" is absolute rubbish. it kills. doubt it can really be proven otherwise.

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