done...

sleepless nights once more for awhile now, but a relatively good thing in view of what is to come. do more in less, that would indeed be the best. perhaps it is time to churn out the sleeping ungodly habits and make full use of what little time there is.

comments of "you are smaller" came and went flying over more than once, the gastric flu is cleaning me out rather nicely, so there is a clear gastrointestinal system at the very least. did a job at night and really danced. a little too rusty for the liking, and creaky to be sure, but apparently a dancing sprite spirit hidden somewhere.

ride was a smite longer than usual, perhaps because there was a haunting want, somehow, to drive everything away. a little furry cuddly came acrawling, managing to finally find its way back. as the nights turn into days, and go passing by in a subtle blur, cuddle up to my odd shaped butterball it will be for whatever little comfort there could be offered in a tenacious squeeze, with it behind in a tiny crevice at the back of the mind, that after all that has been said and done, it is really, genuinely, finally, done.

a walk in the rain...

some things will happen, as some of them will. no when, no why and not even how. nothing at best

love rainy days and stormy nights, huffing winds and wet roads. cools the air and soothes the soul. a silent walk, so stealthily slow, a walk in the rain to fool the pain.

teardrops from heaven, above the skies. a night of deep and quiet sighs. rain, rain, my dearest rain, please feel free to come again.

nowhere around...

without a rhyme or word, my broken handed angel has gone missing and is nowhere around, taking flight without even a goodbye. worrying, extremely worrying. crying.

crash...

when things go bad, as they always will. it makes one think, and go all still. how is it that the car suspensions went, with the added airbag explosion, and still in that crash, why did this one not become road kill???

the redundancy of existence remains to be seen as a gift of life. never mind good intentions, they will always be deemed as pretentious. screw good will, it will only cause some nasty spill.

there is no right, there is no wrong. there is no point, been all along. when it spins all out of control, perhaps there will be a crash once more, a crash and burn, a hope that soon.

tummy rampage...

the stomach has pretty much started its own version of the french revolution yet again. thankfully managed to keep it all in without making a fugly mess when out with the parents and godsiblings for dinner. unfortunately, it just decided to make a dormant retreat for all of a stinking day.

it is pretty much back to the norm of everything that goes in will end up out, be it up and down. unexpectedly got pretty bad to the point it was like the first few days where the fingers and legs just degraded into a bowl of jello that typing a text takes too many minutes to count and pressing on the keys just takes too much strength. well, good thing out of it all, is that the gastrointestinal system is getting a major free overhaul with the cleansing session from the impromptu detoxification, though do not really fancy turning into a sickly shade of green.

never thought there would be a day where would say that the smell of food is revolting, literally. moreover ain't funny that no brainer boyfriends, or pea brainers to give them the benefit of the doubt, can actually shoot the all time insipidly stupid question if am preggers with the display of "pregger" symptoms. oh well, the tummy rampage is still ongoing, although seriously, parking in the bathroom ain't quite exactly my idea of fun, even if there is a tremendous love for holing up in my own cubbyhole.

unveiling...

the unveiling begins...

the unheralded sighted...

the mystery exposed...

as silence abates...

a show awaits...

sight out of the blue...

it has been quite awhile since the last time a dream popped into sight in the middle of sleep. two possible explanations to that, one being the scientific one where one's mind is just too overactive for its own good that it overrides into the sleep system later on when the body decides to get shut eye, and two being the never believed but happens time travel so that there would be the pop up dejavu feeling in the future, or the old "something is happening to someone me know who is close to me". well, going with the history of how the dodo's life has been, the conclusion naturally fell into the pachinko pocket of the last bit of an option.

it is certainly not one signs up for, but it is what it is, has been what it has been. the worst part is probably knowing that nuts can be done despite knowing, albeit an unconventional way, what is going on, of sorts. that said, weird blue moon jack in the box dreams with no particular or specific meaning for the matter can drive anyone absolutely nuts, especially when the encountered person in it yesternight is completely unexpected.

talk about a sight out of the blue. that has to be randomity at its best, not. not looking forward to the part when everything fast forwards somehow and am going to be hit with finding out what the dream means, not to mention that nagging little bit of why, unexplained just really does not cut it.

shower woes...

taking a shower like the olden time samsui female, via the hand bucket, ain't exactly my idea of fun. unfortunately, little can be done when the shower faucet decided to quit and fall apart a few days back. without much of a choice, or any choice for the matter, had to fall back on taking a shower the old fashioned way, just that was not wrapped up in a sarong and standing by the well or riverside.

the regular shower was not too bad. it was the hair washing that drove me absolutely nuts. doing it by the hand bucket method certainly takes quite some skill, am just thanking god the hot water did not die on me at the same time.

am totally relieved that the problem has been fixed, probably to the point that might have kissed the bathroom floor in all gladness, almost that is. well, got to say that it was quite an experience for all the inconvenience, though the bigger lesson learnt was to never take modern technology and its usefulness for granted, especially since the dependence on it is enough to cripple one to tears with the frustration caused. if anything, guess the only good that can come out of this incident, is that saved a little on the water bill this month.

washing machine...

the stomach decided to go on strike and go down with a flu bug. one thing is for sure, gastric flu ain't stomach friendly. pretty much feel like a human washing machine with everything on a perpetual spin cycle. looks like the bug would take no courtesy and stick around like a bloody leech since it has decided to visit, yucks. on second thought, make that double yucks.

clouds...

cosette sang that there is a castle on a cloud, but in truth, there is really none there, so there can be little comfort in a place, that fails to exist, where there can be no crying there. reality really does bite the dust, so little wonder why cosette was set with the task of sweeping floors. there is no room for sweet dreams, what more of sound sleep.

raised up on clouds to see the skies, just as one tries and opens one eyes, and touch the stars once admired from afar. that, is all but a fancy illusion and a foolhardy chase, because all it takes, is a drop to the ground, and fall on one's face. wonder what really hurts more, or rather, if it even hurts at all.

time to get the head out of the clouds. time to get the feet on the ground. time for dreams to die and end.

home...

missing home...

missing the splendour of fireworks...

happy birthday...

good shoes...

there are no cinderella moments in this lifetime, and one should never ever expect such. with the fact in mind that there is no such thing as a happy ending, it does make fodder for thought if that is why trying is hard, and more often than not, futile as well. or rather, is it probably the feeling of it that is the tough, or tougher part to chew and digest.

"one must always possess a good pair of shoes, for a good pair of shoes will take you places", somewhere along those lines. heard that from god knows where, but for some inane reason, it has somewhat insidiously decide to stay stuck in my head. strange as it might sound, it does actually make sense, cow sense probably, but it does, in a roundabout sort of way, and if so, then reckon my good shoes are yet to be found, because in all honesty, there ain't no perfect fit.

these shoes are made for walking, and that is what they will do. one of these days, these shoes are gonna walk all over you. that, and more.