Sunday, 17 May 2009

bleed out...

cruising at midnight on highways or long stretches of road with green light all the way through pacify the raving lunacy that drives me. was on the road in an area too familiar, at the tip of the t junction away from the decrepit dilapidated hellhouse. when the call came singing, was trying to grab my cell from my bag whilst trying to be careful trying not to go abanging into someone's ass or veer off course. somehow or other, there was this out of the blue off feeling of peril. mayhap that may be due to the earlier spillage of precious evian at my doorstep, talk about the most expensive doorstep spring cleaning done in a split second. if anything, have learnt never to ever doubt one's sixth sense, and true enough, it was not totally off. for it was a fateful call, one that would had have me gone crashing and in a position of inadvertably bleed out.

driving past the subway station that brought a cabbie driving at a crazy mad rush from my area to this area, all because of one tired traveller's attempt to spring a consequential surprise for the other in a time of long ago, was remniscent of all that was no longer. a text then came, with a little less calamity behind, from a concerned mommy who hollered at me about forgetting my keys, once again attributed to that ominous accident of having my evian rain on the floor. with the left mirror being totally off its usual axis and still staying unrepaired at the moment, it is imperial to be all the more vigilant on the road, what more with mortal car warnings, with a car that is bloody smart, when starting the car, that beeps and flashes a verbal warning on the dashboard about the damn coolant level running low. with the cellphone on an all time low, perhaps it was predestination at its best, or worst, to have to be the ignorant rat of the day. do not know, and do not question.

retreating into a complete silence whilst trying to carry out the rest of the errand running was the order of the night. fatigue is still a leechy bug hanging around for all it is worth, not to mention with the slightly more feeble flu bug hand in hand because the temperature went for abit of a run and spiked after those direful rings. shrinking back into the four walls and three doors of a cubby hole on getting back relinquished one of the going ons in the outside world, especially when one just did not know what to do, nor how to react, let alone how to be anymore, because one, somehow or other, no longer knew no more. reading haunting words that did, and yet did not, make sense left the mind reeling like a tornado on a mission to leave ruins behind. thinking, thinking, and still thinking what those portentous words could possibly mean, wondering if it really meant anything to begin with. at this point, only the ending is distinctively clear, a cessation of all reason, or emotion. either way, one that resided in inevitable grave destruction.

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