silence all these years...

hanging out with musical talents has a tendancy to make one belittle oneself in the capacity of music. no doubt, it ain't exactly a forte of mine with lacking the finesse to pull off any possibility of a tug of heartstrings with a soulful rendition of a piano concerto in a concert hall, or jamming and rocking the crowd with heartpounding drum beats, or calming that inner spirit with the soft plucks of a violin. such calibre certainly is just beyond me.

despite its nonexistence, that certainly does not mean that am totally devoid of any sort of music sense. well, at least that is what would be a gratifying thought to comfort me in my dreams...??? think am able to safely say that am able to hum a tune, albeit out of key at times, bang on the keyboard; all in all, make some noise.

things are certainly a whole lot easier in this world of black and white. it is all about feel, being at one with one's emotions, and most importantly, about expression. in this world, it just is, and nothing else to it. no if, no maybe. the simplicity of it all is so elementary, it is literally child's play. yet at the same time, it can be so profound, and so despicably hard to fathom it drives one to the brink of madness. love it or hate it, sublime paradox ain't it???

not being gifted with the innate ability to be capable of any impressive musicality, guess one tries to compensate for the lack by learning how to appreciate a good melody. after all, this world is supposedly all about balance, whether it being a scientifically backed up principle, or some voodoo woodoo fengshui belief.

so what happens now??? well, as those tinkly little beansprout like notes reverberate in my head and my feet respond by tapping to that obscure rhythm that is conjured up at the back of my mind, am suddenly reminiscent of those days where the freedom of expression was done my way. however, that walk down memory lane is another tale, for another time. right now, it is pretty much done along a highway. meanwhile, while am stuck in a moment where i can't get out off, will just apprize the nuances of all that is black and white, and that bit of grey in between; and leave the little spectrum of color for those who can appreciate it in all its plethoric symmetry.